Falling down a rabbit hole
I hate getting too personal on here, but last weekend I exclaimed I would make my return after the horrific events that unfolded in the weeks prior, this was met with some lovely tributes and messages and I then appeared to go silent once more, I didn't feel this was fair so wanted to come explain the situation.
As most of you know from a blog I have now removed, I lost a family member I was very close to, but there's more to this story than most can imagine.
Every once in a while I let you all glimpse behind the curtain of my life, it turns out those glimpses add up like a really nightmarish dot to dot game of late.
Again, as many of you will remember, I moved to a new country, renovated and built a home only to discover that adult business falls into a very grey area causing and costing me mountains of stress and money. I then decided I should probably move for the sake of AnnabelFatale.com remaining online to a country where the guidelines and rules are less restrictive. In May this year I found a new country I loved, a little island in the Mediterranean, it suited my lifestyle, my passions and I would be fully free to be extra creative on AnnabelFatale.com. After the visit I spent 5 months meticulously planning my move, not an easy feat when you have a whole pack of dogs to transport. I found an apartment which I paid 2 months rent on, paid for car hire, booked my flights, arranged meetings for residency and accounting help etc. Thankfully I'd had a lovely offer of a relative living in my current house for 2 months looking after my pets while I set up my new life on the island, I would find a long term property, a van would follow with my belongings and pets and I'd get on with my life.......
Five days before I was due to get on the plane, my relative who was coming to look after my property passed away. None of the moving, money, or anything else mattered and it still doesn't really. Life changed forever with the loss and everything else seemed so petty, I cancelled everything and went home to the UK to deal with everything.
I no longer knew what I wanted to do, if I should just return to the UK for good or, try for the island dream. In a very hazy, half rushed not very well thought out decision I put my entire life up for sale, my house, my car, my furniture, the works all in one neat little package! The only thing not included was my clothing, media equipment for AnnabelFatale.com, my pets and some personal belongings. I put it up for a measly sum and ended up inundated with messages, one buyer wanted to buy right away. I'd only been back 2 days when they decided they wanted me to sell everything and leave by the following weekend, which is the weekend I'm typing this.
Having just dealt with the biggest loss imaginable, canceling everything, driving across two countries, flying a continent, dealing with everything, flying back, two countries again, life upside down, I was given 5 days to clean and spruce up the house and then move out. It all got too much.
After a few days of wandering around in a complete daze, I gave up. Thankfully the buyers of everything I own realised it wasn't going to happen in time and so did I. I accepted a deposit and now have a couple of months to relocate.......So all this complete insanity is why I didn't end up online last weekend.
I'm pleased to say that the extra time has offered a bit of peace and clarity, so I really am finally back this weekend. I'm currently sat writing the final part of The Cult and have a very special Christmas brainwash idea I'm playing with, it's lovely to be back, to have a moment of normality again, as normal as it can be anyway :)
I'm looking forward to seeing you all in my inbox and can't wait to get part 3 of The Cult in my stores for you all to enjoy.
Anyway, here's an old free Christmas brainwash I created for you to enjoy!
By the way, just in case you're wondering, no amount of stress, worry or grief will put me off living the dream, even if I have hazy nightmarish moments, I've opted to continue on to the island.
See you this weekend!
Empress Annabel Fatale