Stigma - Getting it out of my system

This is an unusual one for me, but I feel there would never be a time I could speak more powerfully about a subject than now and I'm not sure I feel I've ever read a piece by someone in the adult industry who feels this way, but I know there are very likely many who do and, it's time as a community we addressed the problems or at least discussed them.

Everything I've ever done as a model/Domme has been of my own will, nobody has ever made me do anything I objected to. If someone suggests an idea to me for a custom and I don't enjoy that idea, I don't do it. Many people will have noticed that I'm regularly a top store on some of the biggest clip websites in the adult industry, what many may not have noticed is there's zero nudity in ANY of my content, that's right folks! NO NUDITY and still a top store on multiple adult platforms, no mean feat! My content is sexually suggestive, it sometimes contains an adult toy as an instructional tool (Toy is never used by me) and I may post the odd seductive clip where I'm not wearing anything, but, everything is covered up, HOWEVER, as most of you know my fan base mainly revolves around Hypnosis, a constructive way to allow my fans to escape day to day life and experience their desires in a safe way. I have never hurt anyone, despite being a Domme I have always remained ethical, difficult when you're initially new and finding your feet with people throwing gifts at you.

If I've ever felt a fan is doing something too destructive, I put a stop to it. My role as a Domme is to dominate, but I am a human. If my fan or slaves life breaks down, then they're no longer a fan that can enjoy my content, as a Domme I often use the ethos 'A broken donkey cannot carry the hay'. My fans physical and mental well being is important to me, I know there are many who don't care, but I always have and I think my fans know this.

When I started this, it wasn't as a business, it was merely a bit of fun. The story is a long one, but, the short version is this - I uploaded a male to female Hypnosis I'd made to Youtube, just as a bit of fun, nothing more. I forgot about that clip for a week and when I went back it had 100,000 views and a lot of comments asking to connect with me. I created a social media profile and began interacting with fans of my work, it became somewhat addictive and I began getting gifts. Back then websites such as Kinkbomb and IWantClips didn't exist. I began getting requests for Skype sessions and clips in return for payment. Knowing that I'd be required to pay taxes on this income I contacted the tax department and did everything by the book. It was then the only payment processor I used decided to contact me and say

'Sorry, you're offering adult services, we've frozen your account'

No amount of e-mails, begging, telephone calls would resolve the issue. It was then I learned about 'High risk merchant banking'. Pornography and adult content is classed as high risk business, roughly on the same kind of scale as selling pharmaceuticals online, you know, tablets that can kill you if you take them incorrectly, just take that in for a second, my eyes and voice are in the same classification as Morphine, Methadone, Hydrocodone etc when it comes to banking. I was suddenly left with NOTHING, YouTube and Facebook also decided I was 'Too adult' in videos that only contained my face and the only adult word used was 'Sissy'. I muddled on for a few months scraping by when I should have been very comfortable. Eventually I found a new way to accept payments, but it took weeks of sleepless nights. In the midst of all this I learned how to keep accounts.

One of my biggest fans wanted to meet me and wouldn't take no for an answer, though I never requested a large sum and said the meeting wasn't possible at the time (When I say meeting, I mean a real time session...He enjoyed cleaning my house dressed as a female, how sordid eh!) Suddenly he sent a very large sum determined to have the meeting, I accepted. That sum paid for my first holiday in 15 years. As I sat on the beach staring out to sea I came to a realisation, I was creating content people loved and in return I was not only getting to be creative which I love but I was also getting to travel again, I give someone something they love, I get something I love in return, a win-win. I decided that due to my fans loving my content so much, I was now ready to throw all my eggs in one basket. When I got home I changed my performer name slightly, built a new website, ran a very popular free live chat on weekends and ended up doing 18 hour days 7 days a week due to my fanbase growing so quickly. After some time I began to feel burned out as I was constantly doing custom clips and Skype sessions, that was when I realised I needed to open a store to sell my content.

Cue the wonderful ClipVia. I worked tirelessly making Hypnosis clips, promoting my store, I was even kind enough to inform them of which keywords the merchant processors had banned (You can't say the word Hypnosis on an adult site, it's high risk). My clips began to make enough to cover my rent and with little sales and sessions here and there, I was truly up and running. Any money I made above living costs went right back into equipment, cameras, mics, editing software, costumes. I was eventually making a proper wage. At the time I lived in a particularly noisy, crime ridden area so I decided it was time to make a change. I did some research, found a European country I liked, did some more research and came across a sentence

'The production of obscene materials involving masturbation or penetration are banned'

'Not a problem' I thought to myself 'My clips don't involve either'.

I packed my little car, drove across a number of countries, bought an old crumbling house and decided to turn it into my own personal palace. It took an insane amount of work and I flew back and forth tying up loose ends. My house was finally built, I could now live in it full time if I so desired, but I decided to just initially enjoy part of the year at my new home, once I understood everything fully I'd move over full time and bring my business with me. It was a beautiful summer, my family were about to arrive, I'd worked like a mad woman earning a record amount in Clipvia......When they decided not to pay me. It took a week of threats and phone calls before I got paid. They'd paid very late in the past but to get an e-mail saying 'Sorry, don't know if we can pay you' is ludicrous. Imagine your boss saying that at the end of the month. Sadly some models lost homes due to this, I even saw a few with severe illnesses lose the money they needed for medical treatment, just let the reality of that sink in.

I finally made the decision, I wanted to live in my new home full time and decided to visit an accountant in my new country-

'You can't declare taxes on adult work here! It's illegal'

I explained a little more about the rule I'd read and got a reply -

'...It also says anything that's considered morally objectionable to a court of law'

The ultimate grey area that wasn't mentioned when I looked. Basically I could film frogs having sex, upload it and get into big trouble. Suddenly all my hard work seemed for nothing in a country where every street is lined with Playboy posters, the most common bumper sticker is 'Brazzers' and porn is readily available in every shop and hotel room. Now I'd have to sell up and move after all the years of hard work all because of what I do for a living.

I decided to contact a UK accountant, my clip sales had increased a lot and keeping everything in order or knowing what I could claim for was getting difficult. Eventually I stumbled upon a firm that saved my sanity -

Stuart was fantastic, there was no embarrassment or awkwardness, just professional advice to steer me through a dark fog, if you're worried about taxes in the adult industry, contact him, you won't regret it. I had to travel to the UK for set days each year to continue running my business, and I knew this would be a short term solution, I knew long term I'd either have to return home to the UK full time or find somewhere new and move my entire life for a second time selling my house in the process because of what my business entails.

I began exploring new countries with a view to being somewhere nice where I can keep my business and life within the bounds of one country. I picked an island, flew there, researched the laws which were all in my favour, spoke with some accountants and everything seemed perfect. I had plans to also set up a 'Normal' business once there. I recently made payment to rent a place on the island for 2 months with a view to finding a long term house, gaining residency and then once settled moving my business over.

It was then it happened-

Hi Mr X, I will be coming over shortly and hope to have a meeting with you about my residency and accounts and potentially bringing my business to the island. I just wish to make you aware that part of my business deals with adult themed content, however, it is all within the bounds of national and international merchant and business practice laws.

Sorry, we don't deal with those who work in adult entertainment.

The straw that broke the camels (Or donkeys) back so to speak. I slumped back in my chair, lost all hope, I've moved my life multiple times because of what I do, I'm giving up a house I worked so hard to build because of what I do, I'm in a constant state of not knowing when stores will pay me due to the restrictions placed on them by the merchant banks because we're in the adult industry, I watch fellow performers have life saving funds frozen in GoFundMe because they're adult performers, I watch companies disappear without a trace leaving hundreds of models in debt or out of pocket and everyone just shrugs, the governments want us to pay taxes while introducing insane laws that limit freedom of expression and the banking industry is over the damn moon about how much interest and fees they earn with our industry, but beat us with a stick while we're earning it.

The porn industry is estimated to be worth around $98 BILLION, that's 6 BILLION more than the entire UK Gas and Oil industry, so why the hell am I living like El Chapo being forced to fly around and embarrassed to discuss business with accountants for fear of rejection? How is it that people like the wonderful late Hugh Hefner and the Legendary Ron Jeremy get so revered by society, almost everyone watches porn in one form or another, yet the banks and laws are screwing the people in the very industry that so many people enjoy.

I agree porn can become an addiction, but so can eating too much Mc Donalds, and for the most part, the latter will do more harm.

I agree porn needs to be regulated, but by alienating those of us who are law abiding tax paying citizens you're pushing people back into shady black markets, more risk to the customer, less eyes on the ground to report any illegal activities we may spot (Oh and banks, less profit from fees and interest, we've kinda started noticing bitcoin).

I agree that sex trafficking is horrendous and should be annihilated, but I've been in this business a few years and I've only ever met peers who wanted to be here. If I did meet anyone I felt was being forced into it, I would take the appropriate action and contact law enforcement.

How can I be part of something so mainstream, with so much money behind it and yet blacklisted for that very thing?

Right now the world is confusing me, my entire future hangs on the balance of a couple of emails all because I'm a member of 'Club adult' and whisper naughty things into my adoring fans ears.

Whenever anything goes as drastically messed up as this, instead of getting angry I always ask 'What is this trying to teach me?', never did I answer with a 'New trade' out of my love for my fans, but I thought it would be a fantastic idea for one of the big adult media players to create a directory of professional adult friendly service providers broken down by country and state, that way, instead of all us models and performers having to approach service providers with our tail between our legs, service providers can instead list their service so when we make contact, we can guarantee no rejection or awkwardness.

Just an idea, I mean the industry is getting on now.....

Feeling like a revolutionary with a placard,


Annabel Fatale

Featured Posts